Are You my Mother?

You would think it would not bother me anymore

I just can't wrap my head around your selfishness

Do you even notice

Is it all part of your disease

Or are you just plain selfish

Do you not realize that it's not all about you

That there are others in your life

Do you forget that we are your children

I look at pictures of you holding me when I was a baby

I can honestly say that I am surprised every time

Is that normal

Should I be shocked to see your affection

How can you be so self centered

You are a 24 hour 7 day a week chessed project

you are exhausting and mean

And completely self absorbed

I wish I could feel love towards you

Instead I feel apathy

Dreaming of you not in my life

Does that make me just like you

How can you not see the pain you cause with your words

All we do is care for you

And you tear us down

You can only think of yourself

Where is the mother I needed

How come I was never nurtured

Who stayed up with me at night

Why didn't you hold my hand

Instead I compensated

I made due with others

I worked hard to gain appreciation and affection

I made bad judgement calls

All I wanted was you

Someone to take care of me

A mother to love me unconditionally

A mother.

Happy Frikkin Mother's Day!