Friday, May 10, 2013

Are You my Mother?

You would think it would not bother me anymore
I just can't wrap my head around your selfishness
Do you even notice
Is it all part of your disease

Or are you just plain selfish
Do you not realize that it's not all about you
That there are others in your life
Do you forget that we are your children

I look at pictures of you holding me when I was a baby
I can honestly say that I am surprised every time
Is that normal
Should I be shocked to see your affection

How can you be so self centered
You are a 24 hour 7 day a week chessed project
you are exhausting and mean
And completely self absorbed

I wish I could feel love towards you
Instead I feel apathy
Dreaming of you not in my life
Does that make me just like you

How can you not see the pain you cause with your words
All we do is care for you
And you tear us down
You can only think of yourself

Where is the mother I needed
How come I was never nurtured
Who stayed up with me at night
Why didn't you hold my hand

Instead I compensated
I made due with others
I worked hard to gain appreciation and affection
I made bad judgement calls

All I wanted was you
Someone to take care of me
A mother to love me unconditionally
A mother.

Happy Frikkin Mother's Day!

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