Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Written By My Sister

Hi everyone. Tonight I want to share my mother with you and the journey my family has been through throughout our life.

When I was four years old my mother’s kidney failed, yet she was successfully able to have a transplant from a three year old donor. This wasn’t all. She was also diagnosed with diabetes and a hearing impairment. My mother is a petite and fragile lady; she weighs roughly the same as the average 9 year old. I can barely count the many trips we took back and forth from the hospital. All I can say as life went on, so did my mother’s health as it slowly deteriorated more and more.

In 8th grade my mother completely lost her hearing, not just in one ear, but in both. She underwent surgery to insert cochlear implants. These are magnets inserted in the brain, connected to an outer piece, and without it she is completely deaf.

The summer going into highschool I was fortunate to have been able to attend sleep-away camp. This opportunity allowed me to feel like any ordinary 13 year old girl. As I was coming home, I was most looking forward to having my mother pick me from the bus. But as the pulled in to the parking lot, I saw my father sitting there instead, I automatically registered something was definitely wrong. My father then told me the news that would change my life forever, my mother’s health was spiraling out of control. My mother had a stroke leaving the left side of her body severely damaged. That summer was the beginning of a new reality. Instead of me spending my summer shopping and having fun with friends, I sat by mother’s side in the hospital and prayed for her recovery. Fortunately, we were able to bring my mother home a month later. Along with my mother’s presence came nurses and physical therapists who attended for my mother when we weren’t home.

Half way through 11th grade my mother developed a disease called fahr’s disease. For those unfamiliar with the disease symptoms include; deterioration of motor functions and speech, seizures, and involuntary movements, headaches, dementia, vision impairment, tiredness, slow or slurred speech, difficulty swallowing, and neuropsychiatric symptoms. These are all symptoms similar to Parkinson’s disease. All of this is caused by a buildup of calcium in the brain. Unfortunately, there is no cure for this.

Because of all these symptoms we are no longer capable of taking care of my mother in our own home. From that point on till today, my mother lives in a Jewish nursing home that I and my family have spent that past three years of our lives.

Just like most of us, I haven’t seen my mother in the past 9 months. YET FOR ME IT IS SO DIFFERENT. As of this year my mother is no longer able to walk, my mother is no longer able to speak, and my mother barely knows my own name.

Just imagine if YOU had to shower your own mother. Just imagine if YOU had to dress you own mother. And just imagine if YOU had to feed your own mother.
  • A major lesson I have learnt from this all is that in life we are given our own personal situations. I knew I had no choice but to accept mine. 
  • I learnt the real meaning of chessed. From all the volunteers who are still constantly helping me and my family. 
  • I learnt that the phrase “I am bored”, should never be said. Because then Hashem will place something in your life so you won’t be bored. 
  • Lastly, this lesson we can all work on. THE POWER OF SENSITIVITY! It is so easy for all of us to just talk without thinking. We all discuss topics without thinking who in the room my words might be targeting. 
Just a simple example;

Many times people talk about how they miss their mother’s homemade food.
But for me I just miss my mother’s presence.

Many people complain about doing chores to help their mother.
But I just wish my mother could ask me to do something for her.

I want to end off by saying we should all look around and recognize the people we have in our lives; for some people it’s their family, some friends, and some teachers, but regardless of who they are it’s what they are to us.


  1. I can't stop thinking about how much you and your family have been through. Hashem should give you a lot of simchos and much koach!