Monday, August 18, 2014

The Truth Hurts

Hi S,
I'm sorry that I didn't respond and have not been in contact. It means a lot to know you are thinking about me. It's hard for me. I know that's not an excuse. As life has never been easy. For me. Or for anyone. Especially you. But it's definitely on the difficult side now and I am holding on by a thread. Therefore, it makes being "open" and "keeping in touch" very difficult. 1. I have nothing good to share and I try to avoid complaining. 2. I feel as if I have disappointed you. You have always seen the good in me and truly feel that I have all this potential. And I have flat out failed. I haven't accomplished. So it becomes easier to just keep to myself. To not reach out. It's a cop out. But it's less threatening. I'm not sure if anything I am saying is making any sense. I look around this life. Mine. Those around me. And I see pain. Sadness. It's pretty hard for me to relate to any happiness at this point. And that is a sad thing to admit. 
Thanks for always being there.


  1. As someone who has played the part of 's' to my own 'r',
    I've seen your pain and you know that - and I'm not only there for you in good times, you don't disappoint me despite what you think otherwise. I know you aren't the my personal r, but I would assume that s feels the same way.
    Also deep down if you are t, or if t comes across this - I'm here for you, good and bad - you can't imagine how much support I get from you…

    1. Thanks for the kind words B. It helps to hear....