Monday, October 7, 2013

will the real slim shady please stand up

So I've been thinking a lot about different things. And you're right, I don't have goals. Or maybe I hide them well. I do have goals, I'm just scared to try and accomplish them. It's easier to do nothing and then I can't fail. When really all I am is one big failure. I have not really accomplished anything. Yeah I have survive two major hospital stays and beat one nasty disease. But is that all I am? A survivor with nothing real to show? Barely living? Yeah I survived a really hard marriage and an even more painful divorce. But what am I now? Is that what defines me? A divorcee? Yeah I survive without the love of a mother. And it's an accomplishment that I get up every morning and that I am here alive. But who am I really? Am I a survivor? Or am I just pulling through, barely holding on. What do I really have to show for myself. What can I truly be proud of. What will make feel fulfilled and worthwhile.

I took one step towards my future today. Gold star. Gold star.


  1. Gotta rock bottom it before you can move forward.

  2. yeah but how many times do you have to hit rock bottom?

  3. Is it how we interact with other what defines us? Or how we interact with ourselves?