Shock to the System

Am I missing something
Is there some sort of message
Should I read into it
Another slap in the face
One more punch in the gut

Have I not come back
Repented
Mended my ways
Chosen life
Follow the straight path

Is this what I get
Deserve
For being careless
Wanting to be free
Living outside the box

How long will I pay
Constant reminders
Receiving these shocks
Lightening bolts
Of what was

Perhaps this is it.
Onward march.